To put it in boxing terms, March is a combination month: a flurry of winter, a short punch of warmth, back to winter. Last year, St. Patrick’s Day was a skier’s dream that lasted until April Fool’s Day, while for cyclists, it was a long, drawn out nightmare. This March, serious Nordic skiers will finish (or prolong) their season at the Long Distance National Championships in Alaska, while serious cyclists will start the race series at the Tuscon Bicycle Classic in … er … Tuscon. A lover of seasons has to buck and weave through March, ready for any blow from any direction. Here are four combination workouts to push you over the ides and through the woods.
The Britney Spears
No one runs hot and cold like Brit. Whether she be shaving her head,
ducking out on custody battles, or carrying on in an alcohol-fueled
rampage, no one does “crazed indulged celebrity” like this pop icon. In
Vermont, one has to work hard to find this type of insanity. Here’s a
workout that comes close: layer up on a bike ride for a couple hours.
March is certain to have wind, cold, snow, rain, and still other types
of unpleasant weather guaranteed to keep Hollywood types out. Ride
until chilled. Strategically tailor your ride to conclude in Burlington
at the Bikram Yoga Studio on Pine Street. (Check the class schedule at
http://bikramyogaburlington.com/.) Conclude 90 minutes later, more
flexible and much warmer. Take the bus home. Some will call you crazy.
The Quick-E-Mart
Think of the Simpson’s movie garnering extra attention for its
Vermont footage. Now, find a high-elevation, south-facing pitch with
skiable snow. On a warm, sunny day, pack a lunch, hike in, and strap on
your skins. Each run should make the snow turn further and further into
a mushy slushy that would make Apu proud. Extra points if you pack food
coloring and flavoring.
The Lou Ferrigno
There are a few days when one shouldn’t head outside. (Think 60mph
wind gusts.) Indoors in March may be inevitable on some day.
Fortunately, sports can be done within walls. Hence the Lou Ferrigno, a
workout worthy of its incredibly hulking gym-going namesake. Hit up the
gym and follow through with a large 10-rep workout: hit the major beach
muscles for 10 reps. The weight should be just enough to give you that
quivering, uncomfortable feeling, as though your inner Bruce Banner is
about to snap: bench press, lat pull downs, squats. Immediately drive
to the climbing gym and take on the easiest route in the place. (Your
fatigue will add endless challenge to the simplest of routes.) When
some lithe climbing pixie laughs at you falling off, resist the urge to
burst. You are not Lou Ferrigno or the Incredible Hulk. You are you
trying to work through a combination workout in March.
The 1 Sky
Go to www.1sky.org and you’ll find, perhaps, the most important
combination workout you can do in March (or April, or May). Dust off
your singlespeed, your running shoes, your kayak, or whatever it is
that gets your mind in the creative, thoughtful, space. Use the time
doing whatever it is you love to piece together how you might enlist
active folks to take interest in the 1sky campaign. You likely have a
sympathetic bone for Bangladeshi villagers starving, but even if you
are the most hardened cynic towards climate help, realize that your
future bike rides, your future ski tours, and every outdoor activity
you like will be affected, so if not for altruism, do it for self
preservation.
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